BEAUTIFUL LIARS

It seems like the hardest thing now-a-days is to differentiate between fantasy and reality. I think sometimes as humans we want something so bad that we’re willing to lower our personal standards and settle for whatever. Who does that? Clearly no one reading this note does or ever has. Well, if not. Kudos to you! It’s the most heartbreaking thing to know that you’ve given a million and one percent to someone who you thought was deserving of it, but it hurts that much more to know that you’ve been deceived the entire time you were giving. Why do people play so many games? You have guys who claim they want this “good woman,” then they have one standing in their face and they don’t know how to treat her or what to do with her. On the other hand, you have women who claim to want this “good man” but when they get him it’s the same. SMH…you wouldn’t believe how many stories I’ve heard regarding the lies that men tell and how many times I’ve witnessed the same. Men tell lies that they’re quickly caught up in. Nine times out of ten men, when you’re asked a question by a woman she already knows the answer. She simply wants to see if you’re going to tell the truth or a lie. Which rarely do you ever tell the truth which leads to more lying and eventually the woman is left hurt and now there’s this trust issue between the two. Now, I’m writing this note from a woman’s perspective because I don’t know the men’s POV but fellas…you’re more than welcome to chime in….don’t all comment at once though..lol

I’m just going to throw some things out here, okay. One, everybody has a story! I say this all the time and it’s a proven fact. EVERYBODY HAS A STORY! Now, whether they’re willing to tell you what their story is..that’s another note entirely. Without getting so caught up in scenarios (Whew! Don’t I have some) I will simply say this. Life is too short. People who are in relationships trust that their mate is being faithful. If you’re in a relationship, then you should be happy. People who aren’t in relationships trust that they will find someone who is not in a relationship or still hung up over some ex and carrying around old baggage. If you’re still hung up on a ex..resolve that issue first before moving on to the next relationship. There is nothing worse that a man/woman thinking they’re “the one” when they’re not. If you’re not happy, pinpoint what the problem is and work on making things right. Because you’re unhappy, doesn’t mean that you should go out and find a “temporary fix” or a “bandaid” for that unhappiness. That does nothing but complicate the issue.

As soon as you step outside of the relationship and involve a third party (in some people’s cases, fourth and fifth parties), you open up the door for all kinds of issues. Lying being the biggest one in my opinion. NOTE: A liar is worse than a thief, but neither one can be trusted. Then you’re involving someone else’s feelings. They’re investing time and wasting time, on someone who they’re assuming is “single” only to find out they’re not. And they’re not finding out because you’re telling them. They’re finding out by checking blackberry’s, cellphone’s, facebook pages or even hearing it from someone who knows someone who knows the person and you. Come on…LOUISIVILLE IS TOO SMALL…everybody knows everybody. And if they don’t..all they have to do is check your FB friends and see who you know that they know. SMDH!

I have a friend who spends a lot of time with this woman who wanted him as a mate. Now, to me he was saying, “Naw, I don’t like her like that.” I have no idea what he was saying to her because I’m assuming if she knew “he didn’t like her like that” she wouldn’t waste her time. Now, from the outside looking in, you would think that they were a couple. Well, his thing was, “It’s not like that. She knows what it is.” Really? Well, what exactly does she think it is? Because to me the actions don’t match up with the words. So, which does she go by? Does she go by your actions or your words? AND… if she knows what it is and she’s cool with that..why would she settle when she wanted more? AND then, if she’s really cool with it…case closed. End of my argument. DANG ON! I said I wasn’t gonna get caught up in scenarios..oh well. Senario #2: My friend met a dude who she thought was “Mr. Wonderful.” Only to find out that his ex was still in the picture. Now, she was under the impression the ex was history until someone that knew someone that knew someone that knew the chic and him told her. Was she hurt? Yep. Why? She had invested time and energy into a dude who was clearly deceiving her. He had her on an emotional rollercoaster and when she tried to get off he would keep coming back. Now, my question is this..you’re obviously confused. Real women try to make it easy for men by giving them a clear escape, but you leave only to come back. Men, if you know that you really have no intentions of truly being with this woman why come back? I’ve been told that men come back because we’ve left the window open. So, if you knew you were going to come back..why’d you leave in the first place? And if the woman is a good woman and you have bad intentions of ruining this good woman, what kind of man does that make you? I disagree with the window being open because even if the window wasn’t open you’d still come back. It’s just easier for you to get back because the window’s still ajar. But what happens when what use to be a warm love on a summer’s day turns into a icy heart on a winter’s night? She’ll eventually close her window.

Scenario #3: Lastly, my friend…can you call these “Desperate Housewives of Louisville. This stuff sounds like Rodeo Drive..lol” My friend met, briefly dated, then quickly found herself n a relationship with a NEW man who appeared to be different from the other men: Liars, players, manipulators. He was a hard-worker, decent provider, picture-perfect, family-oriented man. She had what she thought was "the one" Through all the heartache, stress, and disappointment of the others she believed God had finally sent her "him." The one her heart secretly desired. He had all the things she wanted in her husband as well as things she never even thought of. Being that it felt so “Fairytalish” she had her doubts because he did show signs of potential betrayal, and disloyalty, but she was so caught up and blinded by the love that she didn’t take heed to all the yellow “caution” tape or red “danger” signs.

He was just like all the others...a liar, a player, a manipulator, a user, abuser…Naw, that made him worse. In the words of Lil Wayne & Drake "he liked her, he liked her too, he like her, THEY LIKED HIM TOO” He was exactly what Chakira and Beyonce wrote the song about..a BEAUTIFUL LIAR, but she loved him so much that she believed his lies even when the bullshit was transparent. She busted him with over 15 girls via text, email, chats, face to face, voice to ear, two-way, three-way, Cricket, Boost Mobile, AT&T, Sprint…okay..back to business. LOL. She admitted that he was a player of all players. By the time the truth came out it was too late because her mind, heart,& body were so entangled in him that she couldn’t leave and although SHE TOLD HIM EVERYTHING HE WAS DOING (yes, she told him) he still didn’t change. Guess this question would be, “If you could have your cake and eat it too, why leave the bakery?

Just when she thought she had found "the one" and was in the “perfect” (there’s no such thing as perfect) relationship, she woke up and found herself in a game. She found herself in a game where the “MVP” (her) got benched and the “Coach” (him) wifed the “Water Girl” (girlfriend#2), yet he still expected to win? What part of the game is that? Ummm…look. I’m calling an official time out. Coach! Coach! I quit..I’m taking myself out of the game. Give yourself a tech for Unsportsmanlike conduct. You can keep your trophy, your final four t-shirt and your championship ring. I think I was just fine when I was a free agent..lol. Okay. I play way too much. But seriously.

In this case I guess you have to be careful what you pray for because God isn’t the only one who hears your prayers. Satan sent her a well dressed decoy..a beautiful liar..who single-handedly clipped the wings of an angel.

So, to end this all. Men. If you have a good chic and you know she’s a good chic who has your back when no one else will. Is that not enough for you? Is it fair for you to have a woman on standby while some “ex” has you on pause until she decides whether she wants you or not? Or if you have plated, a German Chocolate Cake...I mean it’s yours! You picked it, but you’re looking at cookies, chocolates, and brownies that are passing by. Are you telling me that you’d sacrifice the German Chocolate Cake, which has all the ingredients in one, for one which lacks all the rest?

I guess my final question is: What part of the game is this? I think I'm going to call it "An Official Time-Out."