"Soon You'll Understand"

“Soon You’ll Understand”

 I wrote a note a titled, “The Making of a Superhero” where I talked about brothers who were playing these games with women.  Having us thinking they wanted to be with us, that we were their only one when we were simply one of many, their lies, the manipulation and so forth and so on.  Well, I still feel that there are men that do these things.  Play these type of games and aren’t honest, but what about the ones who are?  What about the ones who “lay it on the table” and “spell it out” for us, but we don’t listen?  What I’m asking is this:

 We’re always wanting men to fess up and take responsibility for their actions, but when do we, and I’m talking about women, accept responsibility for ours?  The role we play in getting our own feelings hurt, because we do play a role.  It’s not always his fault.  Yea, we would like to believe it and we would like to blame it on him because we need someone to blame, and shit, we’re not going to point the finger at ourselves, right?   Of course, not.   Well, not all of us anyways.  But we have to admit that some of us women are just like them.  (Laughing)

Why would we point the fingers at ourselves?  They’re men and men ain’t shit!  We’re the victims, right?  Now, what I’m about to say, yea, there’s a lot that may not agree and that’s okay.  Shoot, at one point in time I didn’t either and this is the reason for the title “Maybe We Should Talk About It” because everybody don’t see everything the same way; from the same POV (point of view), if this were true…the world would be screwed!  (Smiling) You’re entitled to your opinion.

Question:  How many times have men said to women, “I don’t want a relationship” and we let it go in one ear and out the other. 

Question:  How many times have men said to women, “I see other women.  You’re not the only one.” And we stay thinking that if we monopolize all of his time and stay relevant, then maybe he’ll forget about her, and then we’re the next playa off the bench.

Question:  How many times have men said to women , “Let’s just enjoy the ride” which translates into..”Damn, why you wanna mess it up by giving it a title cause I’m cool with just smashing” and we continue to let him smash, but get an attitude when he don’t wanna take it to the next level of giving it a title.

One song came to mind as I was writing this and it was “Soon You’ll Understand” by JayZ and ladies if you haven’t heard it..whoa!  The first time I listened to it back in the day it pissed me the hell off, but after revisiting it I believe he says some rather interesting things.  Now, I’m like, “WOW!”

Jay says:

Mmm, you don't understand now be..cause you're cryin, and you hurt

You'll understand soon enough.. soon enough

Take your time when you likin a guy

Cause if he sense that your feelings too intense, it's pimp or die

It must be sad, though it hurts to say

We could never be a item, don't even like him

You deserve better - this is ugly; please don't love me

There's better guys out there other than me

Like a lawyer or a doctor with a Ph.D

We're tryin, really tryin to make it work

I ain't ready, and I told you

It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit

When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience

Now it's too late, we got a little life together

and in my mind I really want you to be my wife forever

But in the physical it's like I'ma be trife forever

A different girl every night forever; told you to leave

but you're stubborn and you love him and,

no matter what despite all the fuckin and the cheatin,

you still won't leave him, now you're grievin

And I feel bad, believe me

I ain't ready, and this ain't easy

Wasn't fair to tell you to wait, so I told you to skate

You chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through

What a slap in the face, right?  “It ain’t like I ain’t tell you.”  So, it’s safe to say….it’s not his fault.  Whether men tell women straight out or through their actions..the signs are there and some women choose to ignore them.  They ignore them thinking, “Well, he’s saying that now, but he’ll change his mind.”  But what happens if he doesn’t?  Then you’re walking around like a mad woman because you didn’t get what you wanted; excuse me..because he didn’t give you what you wanted, but hell, he told you what he didn’t want.  He showed you what he didn’t want.  You ignored it.  I’m not talking about those men who tell you, “yes, babe.  We are an item,” and then you find out he’s cheating on you.  No, that qualifies him as a liar, and a cheater.  I’m talking about the men that say, “NO!  A relationship isn’t what I want right now,” and instead of leaving, because you know that you want a relationship, you stay….that’s his fault? No, sweetie.  It’s your fault.  He told you he didn’t want it.  Now, a guy told me that women are POWERFUL creatures (as if any of us had any doubt about that) and can make a man say he’s ready when he KNOWS he’s not, “well, look…let’s just try a relationship and if it doesn’t work, then hey…at least we can say we tried.” But as soon as it doesn’t all hell breaks loose!  “Men don’t know what they want.  Sometimes women have to tell them what they want…convince them.”  Okay, I agree with this to a degree.  It takes men sometime to realize what they want i.e. they have a good woman and don’t know how to treat her and lets her go because Miss New Booty is giving ‘em everything he wants..for the moment.  Then months, years down the line (when he’s matured) he realizes how he messed up by letting the good woman go.  I get that.  On the other hand, I look at it like this.  If he’s not ready, he’s not ready.  It’s like sending a third grader to the ninth grade expecting them to do well.  They’re going to fail!

Not all men play games; a helluva lot of them do, but not all of them do, so at some point we need to take responsibility for our actions.  If a relationship is what we want and it’s not what he wants…we need to find someone who wants what we want.

If he has fifty million other women that he’s seeing and we want to be “the one”; find a man who is ready to settle down with just one woman AND THIS may be hard because you have so many women who don’t mind being the side chic or the chic in the trenches waiting for you to mess up and lose your position so they can slide in (No!  Women don’t do that…lol)

The point I’m making is this.  There are women who claim victims, but in order to be a victim you can’t be guilty.

"You don't understand now, but you will"